After a long week of work my vacation has officially started. I’ve worked myself like crazy this week and dreaded for this time to come. I’ve been challenging myself to go in early to only end up working late. I call myself trying to stay busy to regain focus when I may have been overdoing things lately.

Normally when people take vacation they go on VACATION! Not me this time I plan to reset, restore, and renew myself. I look forward to doing a week of absolutely nothing but the gym. I think I may be even more excited to cut off my alarms for the week.

I look forward to enjoying some time with myself and for each day I’ve planned some things for me to do. Like spa day, movie day, and I’ve even included hiking. This is my first year not flying anywhere and being home while I vacate but it wouldn’t be life if I didn’t encounter this change.

Hope you all stay safe and have a great weekend, all next week is me time so I won’t blog for the next week. I thank you all for supporting me from all over the world. I hope to share more when I return.

With ❤️

-Courtney

Feminine energy is all of the nurturing traits it takes to connect to human beings in a meaningful and fulfilling way. It’s compassionate, kind, empathetic, patient and emotional.

I was always this tough woman afraid to let her guard up. The thought always occurred that the next would always treat me like the last. I asked God to send me a great man and this and that but never did I pray and ask of him to prepare me so once he sent me what I asked I couldn’t manage it.

I never was put in a situation where I had to cook and be a woman to a man. In my household I play mom and dad so my masculine and feminine tendencies both align and go head to head.

I don’t think I realized how serious it was until I was put in a situation to make me reevaluate some things. Life knocked the wind out of me while I was left grasping for air. God humbled me real quick and eventually I realized I wasn’t as tough as I thought.

“A mistake that makes us humble is better than an achievement that makes us arrogant.” — Unknown

A woman will try to play hard but deep down she’s vulnerable and not as strong. It’s her mind that projects her to play this tough role when deep down all she desires is someone to take the weight off her shoulders.

Tonight was a night for new beginnings for me. I realized it’s okay to be the woman God intended me to be. That guard that’s been weighing on me it’s okay to ease it up a bit. It’s okay to have a little affection towards someone.

In my head I’m thinking “Girl allow someone in and don’t be as hard on yourself…”

I’ve had a chance to redo things as if what I currently faced didn’t prepare me. Here I am cooking and washing being this woman I should’ve allowed myself to be to someone. This may just be the fresh start I needed being that I’ve been given a second chance.

I admit it feels awkward but I’m allowing myself to flourish more. I had a hard time over the years and allowed the past to hinder me but now I’m more submissive. I’m able to now understand that I must be open and willing to accept the change, if not the same results will occur.

To any single woman who hasn’t dated in years I encourage you to give love a try. Don’t hold one accountable for what happened in your past. If he’s worth it, give it a chance! Don’t cause confusion instead be a man’s peace! Value him, appreciate him, and respect him.

What I once thrived in I have now released. I’m happy and proud of me. I love this new era! I never thought this change would take place but most importantly I thank God for allowing the challenges I’ve faced to mold me into who I am created to be.

a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.

Today was suppose to be an off day full of relaxation where I do absolutely nothing today. A special friend of mine asked me just days ago what were some things I wanted to do but just haven’t done.

As weird as it sounds I’ve always wanted to ride a motorcycle. My dad loved motorcycles in fact that was actually the cause of his death. I wanted to feel what it was like and why he had a passion for something that has two wheels lol. I placed this on my bucket list for things I want to complete.

In the beginning I was very hesitant and nearly feared taking that risk but once I redirected the negative thoughts I figured it’s only a ride. Go for it!

This morning I was sent a location to park my car and asked how would I love to scratch off one thing on my bucket list. As nervous as I was to say yes! I was filled with excitement but yet anxious at the same time. In the Bible it tells us to be anxious for nothing but give thanks for everything.

This is definitely a moment I’ll always cherish and be thankful for. I can’t wait to get a feel of the wind and inhale all life has to offer.

“What I once had fear of doing I now have confidence to fulfill…”

Life isn’t promised so fill your life with things you see true value in and not just the temporary. It’s always fun to create memories. If you haven’t write down some things you want to complete. Remember anything is possible!

You never know who will be placed in your life to help you get a jump start to share those experiences with you. I look forward to enjoying my day and praying I’m blessed to accomplish many more.

Motorcycle ride ✅

Within a week my life has made great transformation. If you would’ve asked me a week ago my mind was solely focused on the wrong thing. Just a quick reminder about life “it goes on.” Some situations in life are meant to teach us and I can truly say some people are placed in our life where we learn something or either they give us new meaning to life.

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Lately things have been piecing together for me. I have my peace back and the new opportunities are flowing in. It’s all adding up now, my vision is now clear to things/people. Just one simple talk with God can restore you so be careful what you ask for!!

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“Sometimes you just have to give it to God and get some rest..”

If I’ve never felt complete I do now and those things that bothered me I’m now numb to. I’m so excited to continue witnessing more and receive all the goodness that’s in store. No one is perfect we all have flaws but when your intentions are pure you reap a harvest and things have certainly been working in my favor.

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I don’t care what you’re dealing with but in the mist surround yourself with people who love and won’t give up on you. Over this week I learned to release it all but what makes it all so special is having someone who listens. I’m so thankful to have someone to vent to and encounter this judgement free zone where I can be me but still be valued and appreciated.

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“Sometimes all you need is a safe place..”

I may have made mistakes in the past however I don’t feel guilty about them. You live, you learn, but you fix your mistakes. I’ve been more open lately and allowing my heart to accept love and not feel afraid. I’m proud of who I’m becoming but there’s still improvement for more. It’s a journey so I won’t beat myself up.

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What I didn’t realize was how God place people in our life to prepare us for what’s to come. So now everything I’ve been through in the past I’m able to utilize it before I make the same mistakes. Life wasn’t making sense to me and I felt like everything had failed when in actuality it departed for my good.

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“In reality some things fail to all mend with greater…”

I’m super thrilled to witness the rest that’s in store. In the mean time I’ll keep my head up and let God go to work. This is my journey and I’m ready to take the walk. The past is in the past and my future is shining brighter. Throughout life’s process I’ll always remain humble and be grateful for my current circumstances.

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I’m uncertain if you believe things have failed for you, if so understand that in the season where you’re about to be elevated everyone can’t GO! It’s God protection there is no loss. If God sent it there’s no way possible anyone could take it away. In the end it’ll all add up, you’ll see it was actually for your greatest good.

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“For every goodbye, God also provides a hello.” -Donna Gable Hatch

There will always be moments where life attempts to remind you of your past or you’ll even experience moments you encountered that will easily trigger you. You take those moments and witness how far you’ve come and how you’ve overcame those challenges. Don’t let the enemy lure you back into what God pulled you out of.

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You keep walking, you keep going, and never turn back! There’s something greater on the opposite end that’ll make you realize everything you went through was the last piece of life’s puzzle you created.

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Been a minute since I’ve been out so this weekend I plan to go full force with the ladies. A night out on the town full of laughter and good vibes. I decided to pull that dress out and lace the heels up.

My week was a bit short so tonight I started early. As I let the wind hit my body’s surface I’m realizing this was well overdo. I needed to laugh I needed to have fun I needed to embrace me.

As I slid my dress up I embraced my curves, suddenly I’m back to the old me. My confidence is at an ultimate high, my options I’m exploring and not a person I have to answer too.

“Sometimes you just need that outing, you need that break!”

When life weighs you down you pick it back up and live. Go dress up, get sexy, and own who you are. Pull that dress out, strut it as you walk slow. Make this night all about you!

/prep/ prepare (something); make ready.

Tomorrow is the day my procedure is scheduled. I’m anxious and afraid all at once but I’m reminded of the unexpected things life can bring. So before the procedure there were some days ahead I was in need to prep for.

One day I couldn’t eat after a certain time, the other I couldn’t eat at all. My eating habits were off a bit so not eating anything has become a normal for me.

“Sometimes we’re already prepared without notice of what’s to come..”

I had others telling me how much of a challenge this would be but what’s challenging for others could actually be way simpler to you. This was something I took into my own consideration and not let the words of others drive me into being in fear.

There is a saying what works for me may not work for you…

Along with prepping you have to get your mind right and stay on this consistent bases. You have to follow instructions and do as the instructions follow. If you happen to not do as instructed you will have to follow the same steps again. Instantly I thought this is all a way of life.

“If you don’t get it right you have another shot…”

We prepare ourselves for certain situations not knowing the turnout but placing our trust into the author. That’s what preparing is all about! You focus, get your mind on track, and go forward with whatever it is.

Regardless if you fail or succeed, there is still opportunity for more! You can still get back up and start over.

Today I was reminded that no matter how broken you are, you still have value. We go through things in life that either make or break us. You learn from it all, I always say you go through it to grow through it.

You could be broken at any level but once you turn from a different angle you’ll see there’s still quality in you. You can still be used! A crayon that has been broken can so quickly get pushed to the side or even thrown away because it’s worth has not been uncovered. But as we peel back the old, used and damaged paper, we find that the crayon still has worth and can be used to create something remarkable.

“We’re all a bit broken ..”

If there’s one thing that I know to be true, it’s that God can make even our darkest memories into stories to inspire others. Nothing you went through can stop you from your destiny. Life is more about reaction than action. What you do when the chips are down and your back is against the wall says a lot about you.

Hard moments can shape us, but there isn’t any one moment that defines us. We are all a huge complied list of experiences, emotions and memories. You are a crayon with purpose despite every single way that you have fallen short. Do not allow life to beat you down. Stand up and be bold.

“He knows your purpose..”

Remember your life is temporary projected by you but permanently planned by “HIM.” No matter how broken you may be you still have a purpose to create a masterpiece.

What do you do in this situation? You’re all alone, no one to cling too and instantly the past appears. Do you answer? Do you ignore? The easiest thing to do is fall weak into your loneliness and fall victim into this trap.

I always knew that this day would come and you’ll attempt to lure back in, I figure you want to see if I’m the weak woman I once was. The naive woman who fell for anything with hopes of actions to follow but only led to let downs and disappointments.

“You have no access to me …”

I’m usually not the one to double back I never saw a purpose. I always believed if you wanted something you would value it while you had the chance. I guess you never realize until what you have becomes what you had.

You never actually think you can move on this person has a hold on you. What do you do when moving on is your only option? You can attempt to stay but in the long run it only cuts you deep.

“Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you settle for less ..”

I’m asked all the time how did I remain this strong how do I go so long without conversation or dates? I let the past marinate in my soul for the longest I became so numb to actually enjoying me.

Why do we place ourselves on hold for others who ignore us? Why do we hold on to someone who shows us the real side of them? Why does the actions of others affects us so bad when we’ve done our best? It’s their loss not ours!

“One day you’ll realize when it’s too late..”

Life has taught me the most valuable thing and people will certainly treat you how they feel about you. Everything is good in the beginning but later you’ll witness one’s truest character. If they leave you meant nothing if they stay you’re worth the fight! So ask yourself when the past calls what do I do? You ignore it as if it never happened.

When someone cares about you they don’t turn their back on you, they fight despite what goes on. When someone cares for you it’s not so easy to just move on. If the past becomes the past you leave it there and prepare for the “Future.”

I’m a firm believer in what fades away can and will be replaced with a greater value. Let the hurt go, breathe in, exhale out, life goes on!

“What is always the best thing to do can be the hardest pill to swallow …”

Once you hit decline you choose to break free! Go live and be the best version of you.

I’ve been asked the question several times of in 5 years from now where do you see yourself? Instantly I think to say being rich or having that big house on the hill but it never occurred to me that I should reply “whatever is in HIS will.”

For years I lived a life that I had planned I wanted this and that by this time but life surely didn’t go as I expected. Here I am now at 32 finally piecing things together that I believe will work for the good.

I want to encourage you on this journey of life and inform you that your life isn’t planned out by you but God himself. Where we fall short is planning this fairytale dream but forgetting to include the source.

I’ve had many days I wanted things to go successfully but instead I received the complete opposite. Now anxiety occurs, the hope is now lacked and you begin to focus more on your problem and not the problem solver.

When things fall apart consider it a possibility that life knocked it down on purpose..

It’s so easy to think that what we believe is the best thing for us will have the greatest outcome and moments later the plans go downhill leaving us with a void of disappointment.

You begin to see no way out, your mind is racing and now the faith you once had is turned into doubt which doubt turns into fear. Here you are back at step 1 thinking you were elevating but life just redirected you back into the same position again.

Below are some verses I find helpful:

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs‬ ‭23‬:‭18‬ ‭

“You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed.”

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1 Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭10

“In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.”

God can change anything and turn any situation around ..

Maybe you’re thinking “I can’t keep living like this anymore.” Well, we all go through moments when we want to quit. But the question is, will quitting turn the situation around? You only need to be patient.

Remember the battle is always fierce at the edge of a breakthrough ..

Stand firm, keep walking, never lose hope!

In life we all have our own season. Your season is not mine, neither is my season yours. Have you ever took time to evaluate and realized that some people are not meant to go on that journey with you?

Sometimes letting go is the best thing we can do ..

You have those who secretly prey against you, you know the ones who fake applaud? Those same people you have a gut feeling about are the main people who are preying you fail. They celebrate you when you win but deep down they’re unhappy to watch you succeed.

Once you sort things out and rid the dead weight you’ll begin to see life is not bad after all. The truth is some people we’re just to afraid to let go of but in reality those same people can be the reason our blessings are being delayed.

The majority of people and things that are associated with deadweight are toxic.

Here are a few strong reasons why we should keep away from the company of negative people and their negative energy.

• Attitude: Negative people affect your attitude in a negative way whether you realize it or not. Negative people never think anything positive and when you want to do something new or big and share the thought with such people, instead of supporting you, they would discourage you that would affect your attitude and your ambitions.
• Energy drain: The way negative people talk and behave has a tremendous negative impact on you and will suck your energy levels making you less energetic and enthusiastic.
• Credibility: Hanging out with negative people diminishes your credibility to a great extent because people tend to assume you also to be negative. People judge you depending on the people you associate with.
• Encouragement: When you want to do something different or big, negative people tend to drag you down. They would rather ridicule you and make you feel terrible.
• Growth: The most hazardous thing about the negative people is that they will hamper your personal as well as professional growth as they don’t like going out of their comfort zone and influence you too to be the same way. Stepping out of the comfort zone is imperative to do something new and achieving success.

Eliminate the negative and make room for elevation!

I want to encourage you to keep going and do what needs to be done for you. The only way true success will flow is when we’re living in our most happiest moments. You not only have the right to be happy but you are in charge of that happiness and what it looks like.

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭17‬ ‭NLT‬‬